On Screen Chemistry
by Nitney1994
Summary: Its been three years since they've seen each other. What happens when she returns to the show that they both love? They are actors so surely it will be easy to pretend that its not effecting them. Right?
1. Chapter 1 The Return

**A/N Please be kind this is my first ever fanfiction and I am nervous about how everyone will feel about it. I love DE with all my heart but this wont be an easy road for them.**

Chapter One: The Return

"Hey Ric, you ready to talk over the new season or what?" He said lowering himself down on to the couch letting the smell of the leather comfort him as he knew that most likely they would be here for awhile.

"Damon, I'm ready but I'm not sure if you are." "Why would you say that? This shows been my life for 10 years and I'm excited about the next phase we are taking here. There is so much more of Joseph's story to tell and I cant wait to start on the next chapter of the show" "Well I just left a meeting with Valerie and the other writers and there's a twist coming up that I'm not sure you're going to enjoy much"

"What twist Ric? Am I being written off or something? You're freaking me out man" he said as he ran his hands through his hair pulling on the raven locks a little to let out some tension, a nervous habit he had picked up as a child.

"They are bringing Elena back.." "What! You can not be serious? It was her idea to leave the show 4 years ago, why would she just randomly agree to come back after all this time?" "It was Val's choice to bring her back and she's agreed" "Well how many episodes? How long do I have to deal with her on set? How long is her guest appearance for?" "Damon, that's the part that you aren't going to like. She's not just returning for a guest appearance they are bringing her back permanently. At least for the next two seasons, but Valerie is wanting her character to return to the show until we finish. She feels like its the right thing for the show, all of the writers do. Including me."

He couldn't help himself, he shot off the couch and started pacing the room back and forth. There's no way they could bring her back for more than a few episodes, there's no way that he could be around her for that long. This wasn't going to work. There's no way he could handle this and Alaric was okay with this? His best friend and his producer was okay with the one person who was single handily responsible for ruining his life to come back in to his life just when he had finally figured out his shit again. What the hell was wrong with this picture?

"But our characters are lovers! I can't do this Ric! I can't work with her everyday! You know that I can't do this! You know I can't be in scenes with her! Are we just going to write that part out of the script? What about Andy? How is that going to make her feel? Wait did you already talk to Andy about this?"

"No I called you as soon as I was given the news. I didn't want you to be blindsided by this, but just be aware Valerie, nor any of the other writers are planning to lose the Joseph/Katherine love story. That's a huge part of the show and they don't see that changing just because you and Elena have personal history. You are going to have to find a way to deal with that if you are going to stay on the show. Which, by the way is what we all want for you and for the show."

"Thanks man. I don't know what I'm going to do here. This show is my life and I don't know what I would do without it but I don't know how this is going to work. I don't know how to be around her every day playing a character that is still in love with her character. I don't know how to make Andy okay with this, what the hell am I going to do man?"

"Just remember that you are already contracted for 3 seasons Damon. It would be the end of your career if you tried to get out of that. I'm not saying that as a producer but as your friend. Take the weekend and think about this. Talk to Andy. Try to see if she will understand, as your manager I'm sure she is able to see both sides clearly."

The look that was passed between the two men wasn't very hopefully of her cooperation but Damon hoped she would see that this wasn't his choice. He hoped she would see that this was not what he wanted to do, but instead what he had to do for his career. For the show that he had spent the last 10 years of his life creating, the show that had built his career.

Caroline paced the floor waiting for Elena to show up for their meeting. She had worked her ass off to get Elena what she wanted and it wasn't easy. Valerie Tulle was a tough writer to crack. If she didn't feel that something fit into her story line and the way she saw her show, Holland's Secrets going then there was no way to get her to budge. Luckily, Valerie has been eager to have Elena's character Katherine back on the show. Valerie had said that the other writers and herself had been trying to work up the nerve to contact Elena their selves, however they just didn't know how they would get Elena to agree. Lucky for her it's exactly what Elena wanted too. After they had determined their mutual goals it was easy to get a contract written up that would satisfy both the actress and the writers and producers of the long running show.

"Hey Care! What's the news? Did I get back on or what?" Elena rushes into the room asking questions ambushing her manager/best friend of 15 years.

"I did it! Valerie was already looking for a way to get you back. She wants to end the show with Katherine and Joseph's characters together. It was a piece of cake! She will be sending over the contract for you to sign by the end of the day."

"Oh my goodness! Yes! This is fantastic! You are the best agent in the world Care! Not to mention the best friend a girl could have!"

Elena rushes over to hug Caroline radiating joy, with the biggest smile on her face, a smile that hadn't been seen for years. Caroline however doesn't look as excited, there's fear and worry written all over her face as she hugs her best friend back hesitantly. She knew the reason why they were really here in Atlanta and she knew that it wasn't going to be an easy road for her friend being back on the show that she loved.

"Are you sure about this Elena? Are you sure this is what you want? It's been four years since you've seen him and with everything you've gone through are you sure that you can handle this?"

"I'm positive Caroline. I know I've been a mess the last few years but I have to do this. It's time. I know you're worried about me and I appreciate that so much but it's time to do this. Plus I miss acting! I miss being Katherine! I put so much of myself into that character, I need that part of myself back just as much as I need him back"

"You know it's not going to be easy though, right? You know you have to tell him about everything, and I do mean everything Elena. That's not going to be easy. You haven't even talked to me about the.."

"I know Care. I know I have to tell him but I'm not ready to talk about it yet. I'm not ready to talk to him about it yet, plus I don't even know if he will even be willing to talk to me right now. I wouldn't be surprised if he left the show just to get away from me but I have to try."

"Just as long as you are sure about this. I can still call Ric and Valerie and have them pull the idea right now if you change your mind"

Elena moves to sit down pulling Caroline down into the chair with her. She's silent for a few moments and just holds her best friend thinking over her options.

"I don't have any other options Care. I can't live without him in my life and this is my only way to get him back. I have to get him back Care. I'll go through whatever he puts me through if in the end it means I have him back." she finally says.

Damon sits in his chair at home holding a glass of bourbon thinking about everything that Ric told him today. She's coming back, after all this time she's coming back to his life. Is that really what he wants? Hell no. He does not want that woman anywhere near him or his life. How is he going to deal with her being back? He had Stefan look through his contract and its iron clad. He has to film three more seasons before he can leave the show, three seasons with her. There's no way to avoid her either, their characters are love interests and the fans are dead set on them ending up together. Not that the writers would even think about changing that story line, not even for him. Hell even he knows that's how the story needs to end.

But god three seasons of kissing her and being around her, even though it's all for t.v there's no way he's going to get through this without being effected by her. Those doe eyes and the smile that makes him feel invincible in a way that no one else or nothing else could do, at least it used to. Now it's going to tear his heart out slowly. That he was sure of, it was the only thing that he was sure of.

No he's got to find a way to talk her out of this. She cannot do this to him. She was the one who left. She was the one who said no. She was the one that had ended things not him. She was the one that choose to leave and he was going to make damn sure that she stayed away. He was determined to make sure that his life stayed the way it is now.

Slamming down the last of the bourbon in his glass he reached for his cell phone. He looked up the number that he had never had the heart to delete even after four years and pressed call.

It ringed three times and he almost didn't think she would answer, then finally he heard a hesitant "h..hello..."

"We need to talk."

"Damon..I don't even know where to start.."

"Nope. I don't want to talk about the past. I want to talk about the fact that you are trying to come back to my t.v show. Back to my life."

"Your tv show? What?"

"Yes my show. It's not your show anymore. You lost the right to call it your show when you chose to leave without as much as a goodbye."

"You know why I left Damon. Don't do that. Look can we talk about this in person? I don't want to do this over the phone."

"No. We can do this on the phone now. I don't want to see you at all so it would be impossible to do this in person."

"Well I want to see you. So we can do this in person or not at all and I'll just see you on set when filming starts next month. Its your choice Damon."

"No! You will not be filming! You chose to leave the show, therefore you don't have the right to just decide that you want to come back at random."

"I am filming Damon, there's nothing you can do about that. Didn't you hear that Valerie has already started writing the new season? The new season that Katherine has a huge part in."

"Fine. Tomorrow. Noon. Where do you want to meet? Or are you even in Atlanta yet?"

"I'll be flying in tomorrow morning. My flight arrives at 10 so I'll be there by noon. Is Lilly's good?"

"No. We can meet at the Starbucks on 7th street."

"Okay I'll be there"

There was no way in hell he was going to meet her at Lilly's. There was too much history between them at the little cafe. No. He needed to keep his head straight for the conversation that they needed to have and that wasn't going to be possible if he agreed to meet there. God, even the old school movie posters made him think of the times they would go there after a long day of filming to wind down with a cup of coffee and a stack of pumpkin pancakes to share because there was no way in hell either of them could finish a stack of the sugary goodness by themselves. She always agreed to share them with him even though she knew it meant spending thirty extra minutes with her trainer Haley. But she would always indulge him when he felt the need to decompress after spending a 12 hour day on set playing Joseph.

Why did she have to do this to him? He had done such a good job of keeping the memories at bay and ignoring the pain in his chest that flared up at just the sound of her name or a mention of the character that she loved to play.

He just wanted it to go away again! He needed the pain to end. It was too much, it overwhelmed him even now. After four years without her, without hearing her voice or seeing her face she still had such a hold on him. This is why she couldn't come back. This is why she needed to leave again. For good this time.

His life was good now. He had Andy, he loved her. It wasn't like the love he had for Elena, no he promised he would never let another woman have that kind of control on him again. No one.

He couldn't help but to go back to that day. The day that ended all the fantasies of happy ever after and hopeful thoughts of a love that could never end. A love that no one could break apart no matter what. A love that consumed him. A love that he would do anything for. He would, but she wouldn't even though he thought she would have at the time.

*Four years earlier*

Damon and Elena had decided to go to her families lake house for the weekend. It was the end of summer and almost fall so the weather was perfect for the little cabin by the lake outside of her hometown Mystic Falls Virginia. They had spent the weekend just spending time together and enjoying each other's company.

He knew that they would have to leave in the morning to go back to Atlanta and they would go back to the packed schedule, where every moment of every day was planned by agents and directors. But right her in this moment it was perfect. He had his girl wrapped in his arms sitting on the dock by the lake just watching the water ripple and the stars shine in the sky covered by their favorite throw blanket. He knew this was the right moment. The moment that he had been waiting months for.

Slowly he moved her off his lap to sit in front of him.

"What is it Damon?" She looked up at him with those beautiful brown doe eyes with such a look of love and adoration that he almost didn't get the words out, but he knew that he needed to do this. He needed to have her agree to forever with him, even if he didn't deserve her he still selfishly wanted her and that was exactly what he was going to do. He was going to have her for forever if she would agree to it.

"Elena, I love you so much baby. God, I don't know what I would have done without you the last 6 years. Your friendship kept me sane for the first few seasons of filming and then you agreed to go out with me as more than friends. And the last 3 years of having you in my life as my heart have been the best of my life! It took me 26 years to find you and understand what it meant to give myself over to someone fully. To trust that you would never hurt me. To know that you knew the real me, the me that no one else gets to know and the fact that you love me still means so much to me." He reached into his jeans to pull out the perfect ring for the perfect girl. He looks up at her and she has tears streaming down her face, but there's something else in her eyes. Fear. No, God please no.

"Damon, I.." she covers his hands with her own hiding the ring, never looking down.

"Elena just let me finish, please" He pleaded crystal blue eyes staring into her eyes.

"I can't. I can't let you finish. Damon, I know where this is going and oh my god I can't believe I'm going to say this but I can't. Not yet. I love you so much! And I feel the same about you that you do about me but I can't agree to this right now. I want to so bad but I'm not ready yet Damon."

"Why not!? We've been together for 3 years and we've know each other for 6 Elena. We know each other better than anyone else does. Why not right now?"

"Damon you are 33, you've lived your life and you know where you want to be in life but Damon I am 26. I don't know what my life looks like in 5 years let alone in a year from now! I know I want you! I'll always want you! But I'm not ready for that step. Not yet. I'm just asking for time, Damon. Just a little bit of time for me to figure out where my career is going. God, Caroline is talking about movie deals and that means filming anywhere! And I don't want that kind of life with you, I want to be with you every night when we take that next step and I can't promise you that. I know that you want that too. Can you understand that? It's not about how long we've been together or how long we've know each other, its about the fact that I don't even know myself right now."

There are tears streaming down her face again, but it's not for the reason he wants. He looks at her with his own tears shinning in his own eyes, but he refuses to let them fall. He won't let her see that she is tearing his heart from his chest. He won't let her see that she just broke him in a way that no one else ever had.

"Of course I want that life Elena! I want to spend every night for the rest of my life with you by my side! But I don't care about the movie deals and the filming! I just want you! I want a promise that says you are mine forever that everyone can see! I want to watch you walk down the isle with Ric standing in the place of your dad coming towards me! I want to promise you that I'll be there for you forever in front of everyone that we love and I want to hear you say those words too! I want you Elena! Why the hell don't you want that too?"

"I do!"

"Then let me finish! Let me ask you and say yes!"

"I can't Damon. I need time! Please! Just a little bit of time!"

She struggles to move but she eventually gets to the place she wants to be. She sits back in his lap and folds his arms around her, but she can feel that his arms are limp and his shoulders slump with disappointment.

"Where do we go from here?" He ask with a small voice.

"Just hold me Damon. Let's go back inside and lay down and just hold me. Let's go back to being the content couple we were just 30 minutes ago. Let's pretend just for tonight that everything is okay and we can figure it all out tomorrow. Please"

They walk back inside and go to bed. He does what she ask. He holds her. All night long but he can't stop thinking that this is the end for them. She doesn't love him enough to promise him forever and he doesn't know how to deal with that. He wants her forever but she obviously doesn't want him.

He slips out of bed after laying there for hours and silently packs his things and leaves. He knows he should have waited to talk to her but he can't. Not yet. He will but now he's the one who needs the time.

What he doesn't know is that it will be four years before he sees her again.

If he had know that when he walked out of that cabin he never would have left that bed with her. But he did and now everything has changed. Just the way he knew it would when she refused to let him finish his proposal all those years ago.


	2. Chapter 2 The Meeting

Chapter 2 The Meeting

She sees him walk in from the corner chair she has chosen in the local Starbucks. He's just as breath taking as he's always been wearing a pair of dark wash jeans that molds to his legs and hips with a light grey shirt that is sure to make his ocean blue eyes pop. His hair is a mess, surely because he has been running his hands through it no doubt due to the same nerves that she has been feeling since he hung up the phone last night. She almost laughs at the memories of Liv, the hair and makeup girl screaming at him to leave his hair alone when he was nervous about a particularly rough scene, but she can't bring herself to because she knows that she is the source of those nerves today.

She sits quietly making no move to gain his attention as he goes through the line to order his coffee, venti black americano if she remembers correctly. She wonders if he'll indulge in his favorite banana bread or not. She finds her answer when he takes his coffee and turns around scanning the coffee shop to see if she's there yet. She slowly lifts a hand when his eyes scan her area and she points to a chair across from her.

"Umm hi?" She's unsure of what to say to start this as he sits down sipping at his coffee. She was right, the grey shirt that he is wearing makes his crystal blue eyes pop in a way that makes her long to look into them the way she had while they were together. Knowing that they hold the power to either calm or intensify her nerves.

"Why now Elena?" He ask bluntly, subtlety was never his strong point.

"Okay so no small talk then, just right into it huh?" "There's no point in small talk. I don't have the time or the patience for it when it comes to you." "Wow. That stings Damon. When did you become so cruel?" "I've always been an asshole. You know that but I guess it intensified when the love of my life left me." "An asshole, but you were never cruel. Damon..I.."

"No. Don't do that. That was not an opening to talk about you leaving. That was me making a statement in response to your question. We are not here to talk about the demise of our relationship. We are here to talk about what it's going to take for you to leave again and never come back. You don't belong on this show anymore."

"You're wrong. We do have to talk about our relationship. That's the only way this gets resolved because that's the reason why you don't want me here. I'm truly sorry for the way that I hurt you but to be honest Damon I don't care what you want. I want back on the show and I'm going to be back. I miss my character, you of all people know how much of myself that I put into developing that character and I miss that part of my life. I'm here to reclaim that. Me leaving was never meant to be permanent, no matter how much you want that."

"Tell me when did you start to care what I wanted? Because from where I'm sitting it looks like you never cared. Otherwise you would have never left in the first place! You don't get to just come back and screw up everything that I've done to move on. Don't you understand that?"

"You know why I left. You know I cared more about you than I did anyone else. Don't start throwing accusations around because I promise I can throw some too."

"Oh really? Because you're the one who said no. You're the one that never came back to Atlanta. You're the one who took a fucking vacation with your best friend after your boyfriend proposed to you and you said no! So tell me again how much you cared?"

"You know what, screw you! I never said no! I said I needed time! And you are the one who left the lake house without so much as a text message while I was asleep. You are the one who ignored my calls for months after that night. So don't tell me I never cared. You just couldn't get over your own damn pride to understand what I was telling you. But I never said no, you were the one who gave the ultimatum! The ultimatum that I never even got to respond to by the way."

Elena stands up and rushes out of the coffee shop refusing to let him see the tears that were threatening to fall. She knew he would be angry and that it wouldn't be easy seeing him, but she never expected the look of disgust he threw her as he recalled that night so many years ago.

Crap. Why did he choose a public place to meet her? He hadn't even thought about the backlash that would cause. He could see the photographer sitting outside the window with his camera dead set on him. He would have to call Andy to warn her of the possible pictures that would be out soon. Just another thing he had to tell her about, fucking great.

He would focus on that for now, he couldn't think about the things Elena has said to him about being the one who left first. Grabbing his coffee and taking his cell phone he made is say to his car to call Andy.

"Hey babe! Where are you?" "Hey. I'm leaving Starbucks. Where are you? I need to talk to you about somethings" "I'm home you can come over. Is everything okay?" "Yeah. Everything is fine. I just want to talk to you. I'll be right over."

He ends the call while getting into his car. He's going to have to shake this paparazzi before he can make his way to Andy's . But that shouldn't be hard. At least it's only one this time.

It takes him 40 minutes to get rid of the guy and get to Andy's house. 40 minutes to think about what to say to Andy about everything that's happened the past 24 hours and still he has no idea what to say to her that will make her feel better about this. There's no doubt this is going to put a strain on their relationship. Above all people she knows how he was after Elena left. She had had to deal with structuring filming schedules and dodging press about the epic break up that was Delena, as the press had called it. She would know the magnitude of the change that was about to happen. Taking a deep breath to calm himself he got out of the car and made his way to Andy's front door.

"Hey baby! I've missed you the past few days!" "Hey I've missed you too." She moves to kiss him and he knows he shouldn't have but he dodged it making her kiss land on his check instead of his lips as intended.

"Umm okay. What's up?" She asks giving him a questionable look.

"Let's sit down and talk. I've got some news you're not going to like." "Okay let's move into the sitting room. What's this all about?"

He takes a few moments to adjust himself on the couch, making sure to keep some space between them.

"Well I'm just going to come out and say it all, please don't interrupt. Just let me get this out and try to explain." He pleads her to understand with both his words and his eyes.

"Okay. What is it Damon? You're scaring me a bit here."

"Elena's back. Ric met with me yesterday afternoon and told me she's coming back to the show. I don't know for how long but it's more than just a few episodes. They are writing her back into the script. They have signed her for at least 2 seasons so far." He took a deep breath to let this sink in for her.

"You can imagine how I responded. I don't want her anywhere near this show nor do I want her anywhere near me. So I called her trying to talk her out of coming back. She refused to talk about it over the phone and insisted that we meet in person to talk. Me, being the idiot that I am agreed and suggested a public place."

"Starbucks. No, Damon tell me you didn't!"

"I did. I didn't even think about the press when I agreed to it. I just didn't want to be alone with her. Of course it got heated and she walked out upset. It was only then that I noticed the photographer outside the window taking pictures. I called you immediately afterwards and now here we are. I'm sure they are going to be publishing something today. If they aren't already working on a release they will be soon."

"Damon! Why didn't you call me yesterday? Why didn't you let me handle this? Why did you feel the need to call her? Why did you call her before me!? We aren't just a business relationship here! You are my boyfriend and she is your ex! An ex that you were madly in love with for years might I remind you! I deserved to know about this before you even contacted her! You owe me at least that much respect! Damn it Damon what the hell is wrong with you."

"I know. I'm sorry for the way that I have handled this. I couldn't think straight. The only thing I could think about was making sure that she went away. I don't want her here or on the show! You know that. I'm with you now and I don't want to be with her or around her."

He pulled Andy into his arms to reassure her of his words as much as to reassure himself. It took him over a year before he would allow himself even the thought of being with anyone else and he was realizing just why that was once again. Just being in Elena's presence has him questioning this relationship with Andy. He had to stop and get his mind right. He didn't want to be with Elena. We was sure of that but even he couldn't ignore the feelings that she brought back. The memories that she brought back to the surface.

"What do we do from here? You're going to have to work with her. I'm sure that she isn't going to back down if she's back after all this time. And I know that Valerie has wanted her back on the show for a while now."

"I know. But I can promise you that I won't see her outside of work. I have no desire to be around her outside of that. Just because she's back now it doesn't change how I feel about you Andy."

"I believe that you think that is true Damon, but this is Elena. Your epic love. How do I compete with her? It was hard enough without her here but with her being around I don't know if I can handle this. Competing with a memory was difficult, but fighting the living breathing person that is impossible for me to do. Look at what her being back has already done, and its been less than a day. You just told me yourself that you agreed to a public meeting because you didn't want to be alone with her, that's not because of nothing. Don't even try to lie to me about this. You don't want to be alone with her because you don't trust yourself with being alone with her, even after 4 years apart."

"You don't have to compete Andy! With her here or without you here you don't have to compete with her, I want to be with you. How many times to I have to explain that to you Andy? I've told you that over and over again for the past 3 years! I would never had started this relationship if i wasn't over her! I didn't want to be alone with her not because I don't trust myself, but because I simply don't want to give her the opportunity to bring up our past if we are alone together."

"You forget Damon that I was around for the Elena years. I saw the way you looked at her and the way that you were around her. I know you are with me now, but I also know that I will never earn that look of love and that complete dedication. Don't get me wrong I love you and I want to be with you. But you don't love me like you love her! That love has not gone away just because she hurt you. I don't think it ever will. I don't know why she left or what really happened between you two but I do know that as much as you fight it and try to turn your back on it you still love her."

"What are you getting at here Andy? What are you trying to say with all of this?"

"I'm saying I'm going to walk away now before I get hurt even more than I am now. I'm not going to sit by and be a casualty of your relationship with Elena. I'm not saying that you two will get back together but I do know that you won't be able to commit to a relationship with her around."

"So you're ending this relationship? That's your answer to all this? Once again another woman would doesn't love me enough to stay. Fucking fantastic. Does that mean you are quiting as my agent as well?"

"No I wouldn't do that to you. You're career is just as important to me as it is to you. I will still be your agent but that's all I can be right now. I think you should go ahead and leave. We can talk more on Monday in the office about what this means for you on the show."

"Fine. If that's what you want I will go"

"Thank you"

He walked out of Andy's house even more frustrated than he was when he arrived. Elena hasn't even been back in his life for a weekend and already she was turning his world upside down. He didn't blame Andy for looking out for herself but he wouldn't let her fears come true. He wouldn't let Elena infiltrate his personal life. He couldn't stop her from coming back to Holland's Secrets but he could make sure that there was a barrier she wouldn't be able to breach around his personal life.

Today would be the only time he talked to her about their past. He wouldn't make that mistake again. He would have to make sure to protect himself from her. He would have to find a way to prepare himself to be around her again for filming. Luckily he had a month until that started, of course there would be meetings and table reads prior to that but he had a week or so before that would start.

He needed to get away for a few days. Out of Atlanta, away from where he risked the possibility of running into Elena. Stefan. He would call his brother in Charlottesville, VA and ask if he could visit for a few days.

Elena stormed into the room slamming the door behind her alerting Caroline to her presence. She was a mess. Tears streaming down her face along with mascara, showing just how long she had been crying.

"Oh my gosh Elena! Babe what happened?"

"Damon. What else?" " oh sweetie. I had a feeling it would go bad. I was hoping it wouldn't be this bad though since you were in public though" "Well it did. Being in public didn't stop him from tearing into me about leaving. It lasted all of ten minutes but that didn't stop him from showing just how much he hates me."

"Oh babe. He doesn't hate you. He's just hurt. He doesn't understand everything. But he will. It'll be okay." "No Care I don't think it will be. You didn't see the disgust in his eyes when he looked at me. I don't know if I'll ever be able to get through to him."

With that said Elena moved out of the sitting room of the hotel room and into her private room. Maybe a hot shower would help ease the pain that had been caused during the conversation with Damon.

She started the water and turned it as hot as it would go before stripping and stepping under the stream of water. She grabbed the lavender body wash from the corner of the shower pouring a generous amount on her loofah. She started scrubbing hoping the memories of his broken eyes would fade. No matter how hard she scrubbed there was nothing that was going to make her stop seeing the pain on his face, pain that she had caused.

How did they get here? How did they break each other this bad? If she could go back she would have just said yes and hoped they could figure things out together. But nothing she would do or say would be able to accomplish that. She could never take away the pain for him. And she hated herself for that.

"So where are you taking Katherine in the next season?" Elena was sitting across Valerie discussing how her writing was going for the next season. It had been three days since she had met with Damon and her head was still spinning but she wasn't going to focus on that right now. Right now she was focusing on her character and getting her head back into playing the character she loved so much.

"do you remember how we left Katherine's character Elena?" "Um yeah I do. She was in a magical coma because of a spell that Kai had placed on her and Brooke. So Brooke is living while Katherine is in a coma. How are we going to resolve that? I mean is Bonnie leaving or staying?"

"I have an idea for Jodis character Jo on that. But no Bonnie is not leaving the show at all. She's a fixture that I'm not willing to budge on. If you have a problem with that you need to get over it now." "Hey! I don't have a problem with working with her at all. I love her character on the show and I'm all for her staying. I was just wondering how you are going to have her character and Katherine awake at the same time? Now I don't know how willing she is going to be with working with me. You know how close her and Damon are and I'm sure she is not a fan of mine at all."

"That's non of my business. Your personal lives are just that, your own. Just know the drama needs to stay off my set. If y'all have a problem with each other you need to work it out off set. That includes Damon. I know that your personal life is messy but if you are going to have a problem working with them you need to tell me now and we will just stop this now. I'm not going to bring Katherine back just so we have to work with green screen and cgi effects because you can't film with someone. We did that when we let you leave the last time and it was hell on everyone. I'm not doing that to my cast again Elena, so you better have thought this through. If you have any reservations or doubts about coming back you need to tell me now before I waste my time writing scripts that include you in them."

"Valerie I have, I promise. You won't have to do any of that this time around has far as I'm concerned. I won't have a problem filming with anyone. I want to be back and you're right my personal life is a mess but I won't let it effect filming in any way."

"Good. I'm going to have the same conversation with Damon when he gets back into town. I want to make sure that we are all on the same page here before anything is set in stone."

"I completely understand." Elena was a little distracted after Valerie's last comment. Damon had left town? How long was he going to be gone? Who had he gone with and where? Wait, did she even have the right to question these things? No absolutely not. What he does in his free time is his own business and she had lost the right to wonder about these things when she left for L.A four years ago.

"So I should have the first two scripts done by next Wednesday so me and Alaric were planning on doing a table read on that Friday. You will have the script by the end of day on Wednesday so you can look it over and make any notes before the read."

"Okay awesome. That sounds great! Just email them to Caroline and she will get them to me as normal."

"Sounds great. I'll see you then. I need to go meet with the other writers in order to get the idea boards drawn up." "Alright. Bye Valerie. Again thank you so much for letting me back on cast here. Holland's Secrets means so much to me and it just felt like the right thing to do coming back here."

"It's no problem at all. You belong here. No matter what anyone else thinks about that, Elena. This is your home and we are happy to have you back."

The two women share a brief hug and exchange goodbyes once again before Elena is left to her own thoughts in the studio conference room. Her peace didn't last too long as her agent/ best friend walked right in behind Valerie.

"Why didn't we think about this possibility before you met with Damon? In public!" Caroline shrieked as she threw a magazine on the conference table in front of Elena.

"Oh crap! What's the headline this time?"

The cover of the magazine was a picture of her and Damon sitting across one another staring at each other. It looked like Damon was talking, but the headline read 'Delena reuniting?'. To anyone on the outside it would look like that was a possibility but she knew better. She knew that the look on his face was not a peaceful one but of a man with nothing but disdain for the woman sitting across from him.

"What are they saying now?" "Just what you would expect. That you two are meeting up for the first time in years and according to a 'source' it's not the first meeting between you two. Where do they even get their sources. You had just arrived in Atlanta like an hour before this. Ugh. This is not going to blow over quickly. Especially when word gets out that you are back on the show."

"I know. I didn't even think about the press when Damon suggested a public place and I'm sure he didn't either."

"This is going to turn into a shit storm. You know that right? We are going to have to up your security to keep the press away from you. I know it's been awhile since you've been in the direct line of the press but we have no other choice. They aren't going to relent on this one. I still have Rebekah Mikaelson sending request for a full expose on your break up and it was four damn years ago! You know what her and her husband Marcel are like. They won't stop till they have their story and they are still pissed they didn't get it then. From you or Damon."

"I know Care. I'm fine with that. Call Tyler and let him know we are going to need him back if he's willing. Have you contacted any of Damon's people about this? Have they contacted you?"

"No I wasn't sure what to do. I wanted to talk to you first, I mean since his agent is his girlfriend now. This is dangerous territory on that side."

"Believe me I know. Andy didn't like me when we were together let alone will she like me now that Damon and her are a thing. But I think this should be handled between the two of you for now. I don't think Damon wants me talking to him, or her right now. But just so we are clear as far as I'm concerned we are going with no comment on the private life. When the show announces my come back then we can get with Valerie and Ric and make a statement but we are not going to comment on Damon and I."  
"I'm on board with that. The less of your private life that's public knowledge the better. I'll call Andy and then I will call Tyler. Until then you need to go back to the hotel and keep a low profile. There were a few reporters outside when I came in but it wasn't too many that you shouldn't be able to handle it."

"Okay. Keep me posted. I'll have my cell close by."

Elena made sure to keep her head down while walking to her rental car. Good thing that she had chosen the car with the tinted windows. She saw a few guys with cameras standing close to her car but she was able to squeeze through to get into the vehicle. Of course they were asking her questions. She heard them clearly "are you and Damon official again?" "Is that why you're in Atlanta?" "Couldn't help but come back to him huh?" She just smiled and ignored them, she wasn't saying anything. She was going to keep her mouth shut on this one. She knew all to well how one sentence could get twisted around to fit whatever story they wanted to publish. As she started the car and drove away she couldn't help but feel sad that she had brought this back into Damon's life. He was a very private person and couldn't stand the press. He knew it was part of the job and he dealt with it for the fans but he did everything he could to avoid being in the spotlight. Hopefully he wasn't being hounded wherever he was this weekend.


	3. Memories over flow

"Brother! To what do I owe this sudden visit?" Stefan asked hugging his brother. Damon had left straight from Andy's to the airport and called his brother on the way to let him know when to pick him up at the airport.

"You remember that I had you check to see if I could get out of my contract? Well let's just say it was for a reason. Elena's back"

"What? When did that happen? And why does that have you on my doorstep? That's usually Bonnie's domain." "Well Andy broke up with me when she found out, so that went great. So, I'm just not ready to bring Bonnie into the middle of this. Especially since Elena is coming back to the show too. I don't want any extra drama on set. So that leaves you."  
"Wow. So I need to process and you look like you could use a drink. So let's head to the bar down the street from my place." "Sounds good. I could use a bourbon."

When they were finally seated at a bar top in a local tavern with bourbon in hand Stefan finally spoke up with the one question Damon knew was coming.

"So when did Elena show back up?" "Well I don't know how long it's been in the works to get her back on the show but Ric gave me the heads up on Friday and I met up with her this afternoon" "Let me guess to try and talk her out of rejoining the show?"

"Of course why else would I meet with her Stefan?""oh I don't know because you missed her?"

The look on Damon's face was pure shock. What the hell was his brother talking about? Missed her. No he didn't miss her, not the person she is now. The girl who he loved? Yes that girl he missed but the girl who turned down his proposal, wait no the girl who refused to let him propose and the woman who was in Atlanta now. No he didn't miss her, he hated her. She disgusted him.

He wanted nothing to do with that girl.

"Of course I didn't miss her Stefan. Why would I miss her? She tore my heart out and skipped town the next day. No I didn't miss her. I just want her out of my city and away from my set."

"Okay brother. Then what are you doing in Virginia with me? Why aren't you doing everything in your power to make her leave?"

"Because I'm an idiot and I met with her in public and now there are photographs of us together and I can't let that happen again. I refuse to see her by myself again and add fire to whatever media storm is about to hit."

"Wait what? How could you be that stupid Damon? You've been dealing with the press for years and you know better than that shit! What's wrong with you? Does she have your head twisted up that bad after less than 24 hours?"

"Yes! Damnit yes she does! I didn't think I would ever have to see her or speak to her again and then she just shows up demanding to see me and talk about things. About our fucking relationship and accusing me of being the one who left! Fucking with my life all over again!" Damon shouted slamming his now empty glass on the bar top. He feels a slight pressure on his shoulder and looks up into his baby brothers green eyes and slumps a little lower at seeing the look his brother is giving him. Stefan's eyes are full of sympathy and understanding, after all he is the only one Damon has ever shared the full story with. He's the only one that knows about the failed proposal and the fact that it was Damon who left first.

"Damon don't worry, you'll get through it. I know it's been awhile since you've thought about everything that happened that weekend. But don't let her bring you back to that place. Don't let her make you hate yourself again. You left to get space for a few hours, you didn't bail on the relationship. That was her. She's the one who skipped town and never looked back. Don't take on her guilt. You loved her and wanted to work it out, she's the one who left Damon."

Damon got the attention of the bar tender and requested another bourbon as he let Stefan's words sink in. He knew that most of what his brother said was true, but there was something his brother never knew. He had never told anyone. And it was time to change that, he needed his help to deal with this.

"She sent me a letter you know?" "What? What letter Damon?" "She sent me a letter about 6 months after she left, I guess the unanswered calls and deleted text weren't enough. I've never opened it. I've never been able to get ride of it though." "Wow. Well why are you bringing it up now Damon?" "I think I need to read it. I think I need to know what she had to say all those years ago. If I'm going to be around her I want the full story." He pauses to down the fresh glass of bourbon "I brought it with me to read here away from everything."

"That's a lot man. But you know you are always welcome here and I'll give you your space. You don't have to worry about any intruders while your here. You can have your time away and I'll be here if you need me to help process anything."

"Thank you brother. You mind if we just got home and call it a night right now?"

"Of course not. Let's go."

Damon knew what he needed to do and he could feel the letters presence even from the duffle bag he had packed in the back seat but tonight he just wanted to sleep and hide from the memories that were always there lurking in the back ground.

Hiding from the memories with sleep seemed to be the perfect answered. Until he actually fell asleep and the memories seeped into his dreams.

The good memories almost seemed to mock him all night long. The memories of her laugh that could take over her whole body and infect anyone who was near by. And the way her nose crinkled when she was deep in thought going through a new script. The way she always had to have at least 4 different colored pens next to her for notes at a table read.

The specific memory that haunted his dreams was from their first official date. It took him almost a year to get her to agree to go out with him. She insisted that she was a professional and she wouldn't date anyone that she worked with so they could be friends. And they did. They became the best of friends, spent every day together off set doing anything from hiking to spending the day just drinking coffee and reading. Those were his favorite days. Sitting with her in the quiet being able to observe the emotions that her current reading was making her feel. She never had been able to hide her emotions from him, the small twitch of her eyes and the way the corners of mouth curved up or down depending on if she was happy or sad. He had gotten to know everything about her through those moments and at the time he loved it, but now he hated it. Now it was a reminder of everything he lost when she left and of everything he just wanted to forget.

That's what brought him to where he was at, sitting on Stefan's back porch with his third cup of black coffee and the letter he swore he would never read. He'd already been out there for an hour just staring at the letter on the table in front of him. He knew he had to read it but he couldn't help but to be terrified of what she wanted to tell him.

He took a deep breath and picked up the letter knowing that he couldn't avoid her words any longer and started to read...

 _Damon,_

 _I don't even know how to start this. I have so much to say to you and so much to explain to you and I don't even know where to begin._  
 _I don't even know if you'll read this, I pray you do and that it brings you the closure you need and helps you understand why I did what I did._

 _Why I left._

 _I know you are angry with me and you have every right to be angry with me. Hell I'm angry at myself for what I've done to you. I made a promise to you years ago that if you let me in and you let me know you, the real you and not the mask you wear for everyone else I wouldn't break you. I wouldn't hurt you and I wouldn't let you down. And I did. I did all of those things within 24 hours. Please don't think that I don't know that, that I don't acknowledge how big of a mistake I made. I know I let you down and I have no way to express to you how sorry I am for that. My biggest regret in this life will always be that I let you down. Nothing else will ever eclipse that and nothing else in this life will be able to hurt me the way that I hurt myself when I did that to you._

 _Okay enough about the way that I feel because this letter is not about my feelings but about my actions towards you. I'm sorry baby, I'm so sorry. I know nothing makes this okay and I'm not trying to make it better I just want you to know why._

 _I loved you more than anything in this life and I'm not sure if that will ever change. I wanted to marry you, of course I did but I wasn't ready for that part of our lives yet. I was terrified I would fail you. I wasn't ready to settle down and stay in one place forever. I wasn't sure that I could make you happy the way that you deserved to be happy. I was young and dumb and you were older and more sure of yourself than I was. You were confident in our love and I was beyond insecure. I know you probably didn't know that at the time but I was. I never thought I was worthy of your love and now I know that was the truth. But I didn't want to leave you, that was never even a thought that crossed my mind I was too selfish to let you go._

 _Even when I woke up in that cabin alone I knew that I still wanted to be with you. I wanted to take back everything I had said and to tell you yes. To tell you that even though I would be afraid of what the next step was going to be and where it would take us I wanted to go through it with you._  
 _I had every intention of going straight to you to tell you exactly that, but life had a different plan for us._

 _This part of the story is going to hurt you and I'm so sorry for that. I don't know how else to tell you this. I have tried calling you, emailing you, hell I even showed up in Atlanta to tell you. Don't worry about why I didn't make it to you, let's just say you have some loyal friends who just want to protect you. I respect them for that._  
 _I got up that day and called Caroline to come get me since I didn't have a car to get back, thanks for that by the way. Luckily she was home in mystic falls so she wasn't far away. I don't know what I would have done if she hadn't been._

 _I'll save you the gory details of that day because you don't need a play by play to be hurt by them anymore than you already will be._  
 _I will tell you this much though I collapsed in the shower. Caroline found me in a pool of water and blood, but I don't know anymore than that. She still refuses to tell me any details other than that even though it's been 6 months. I woke up 5 hours later in the hospital in mystic falls to find out that even though she had tried from her phone and my phone you didn't know where I was because you refused to answer your calls. I was devastated and confused and I didn't know I could hurt anymore than I already was._  
 _And then the doctor came in. He told me that he was so sorry and I was confused. I couldn't figure out what he was apologizing for and then he told me. I had had a miscarriage. I had lost our baby. Your baby. I hadn't even know I was pregnant. Please believe that above all things. I would never have kept something like that from you, if I had even suspected it I would have told you._

 _I had been 6 weeks along at least he told me and they didn't have a reason for why it had happened. It could have been from anything he said. He wouldn't say it, but I know it was from stress. I had done this. I had been the reason why this beautiful baby would never be born. It was my fault that you would never hold your child in your arms. The reason why we would never know if we would have had a boy or a girl. We wouldn't know if they would have your ocean blue eyes or my muddy brown ones. It was entirely my fault. If I hadn't have been so upset I would have never lost the baby. I know it all falls on me. I was the reason why you were hurting and I was the reason why our baby was gone._

 _I have no words to express how completely sorry I am. I tried a million wa_ ys _to get in touch with you to tell you over the past 6 months but I never could get to you. I'm so sorry that you have to find out through a letter with no one there to comfort you but please know it was all my fault and I am completely okay with you blaming me for everything. I deserve to be blamed. I accept all the blame as long as you don't blame yourself. You did nothing wrong. Absolutely nothing wrong._

 _I hope one day we will be able to talk face to face and I will be able to express my regrets and my apologies but I understand if that's not something you ever want to do._  
 _Please know I love you and I always will. Damon Salvatore you took my heart with you when you left that cabin and I know I'll never get it back because as far as I'm concerned it's where it should be. With you forever._  
 _I hope one day you will be able to forgive me._

 _Yours always,_  
 _Elena_

***  
A baby. A fucking baby! She was pregnant with his child. They would have had a baby. He was trying to let that sink in but he didn't know how to wrap his head around it. He had pictured Elena pregnant with their child so many times when they were together. He knew that he wanted that with her. She would make an amazing mom, she was so compassionate and so maternal that it would come to her naturally. He didn't know what to do with his thoughts at the moment.

In her letter she blamed herself and told him not to blame himself, but it was his fault. Of course it was his fault. He was the one who got upset that night and caused her to defend herself and her reasons for saying no instead of trying to understand what she was saying. He still didn't truly get it but had he ever tried from the beginning?

It had felt like rejection and the moment he recognized that he had shut down on her. He knows that she knew that and she probably understood it but that didn't help anything. He was still pissed at her but now he didn't know how to feel.

He wondered if she had gone through it alone or if she had someone supporting her. Had Caroline stayed and helped her? Comforted her? Or had she been all alone? To grieve their child. He wondered just how bad it was, did she have to be hospitalized more than just for the day? She said she tried to get in touch with him, he knew about the calls and the emails he had been the one to ignore those and delete them without a second glance but she had tried to come to him in Atlanta. Where had she gone to? Who had made her leave? Would he have even seen her if she had gotten past that person? He didn't know the answer to those questions and that bothered him.

He knew what he had to do and he couldn't ignore it anymore. He had to go see her and he had to have the conversation he had avoided for years.

He left Stefan a message telling him how sorry he was for leaving so soon and thanked him for letting him escape for a few days but that he need to go back to Atlanta and he would call him later.

Damon didn't know what he was going to say to her or even how to get in contact with her. He had tried calling but apparently she had changed her number in the few days that he had been gone. He knew he had to be careful though Andy had called and warned him about the press nightmare that their last meeting had caused, so he knew to be on the lookout for any cameras.

So far he hadn't had any problems in the airport in Virginia or on the flight itself but he was going through security and he knew better than to let his guard down in the Atlanta airport. There were always reporters there looking for a celebrity getting off a plane.

And he hadn't been wrong, Marcel Gerald stood in front of him blocking his exit with a camera pointed directly at him.

"Well look who's back in Atlanta?" "What do you want Marcel? You know I'm not going to tell you anything." "Oh yeah? You sure about that? I mean you coming back here is already speaking for itself" "how is me coming back to my home, where I work telling you anything?" "I mean we all know that Damon Salvatore goes on vacation the week before shooting starts for his show. And here you are coming back to the city where your long lost love is instead of being on that vacation you are so known for" "really Marcel? You're grasping at crumbs here. Shooting may not start till next week but you know we start meetings before then." "Say what you want but we both know there's only one reason why you are here right now." "Whatever Marcel, I think no comment is just what you are looking for. I don't have time for this right now." "Why's that Damon? You off to beg for Elena's attention again?"

Damon shot him a dirty look and continued to the street where he hailed a cab so he could get back to his place and figure out what his next move was going to be.

****  
This week had been hell for Elena. First was the fall out with her meeting with Damon, she was smack dab in the middle of the public eye. She was not used to this life anymore, it may have only been a few years but she had maintained her status outside of the media circus on purpose. She couldn't go anywhere without being followed by at least three reporters now. It was a nightmare and she was extremely uncomfortable because of it.

She had gone to the gym and had dropped her phone and shattered the screen. And of course it couldn't be an easy switch to a new phone. Caroline had recommended getting a new number and everything since she was getting a new phone. She thought that with everything going on it was best to have a new number in case her old one was somehow leaked through the contacts she had made over the years. A good idea but not an easy one.

This lead to even more problems. She now had to make sure that all of the important people had her new contact information so that she could be kept up to date about the new script that was supposed to be delivered tomorrow and any press dates that she needed to prepare for since they were going public about her return to Holland's Secrets.

All she wanted was to go back to her and Caroline's new condo and soak in a hot bubble bath in the amazing claw foot tub she had in her master suite.

But she could tell as soon as she walked through the door that it wasn't going to happen. Caroline stood at the kitchen counter facing her with a very troubled look on her face.

"What is it Care? What's wrong now?"

"Damon contacted me.""What for? To try to get me to leave again? When is he going to learn that I'm an adult and i do what I want to and what's best for my career!? I don't need him telling me what to do!" "Elena I don't think..." "No Care!" "Elena he said he wants to see you to talk.""I don't care what he wants to talk about from now on it's strictly business. He can see me at the table read the day after tomorrow and he can tell me in person what he thinks of my career choices. Which I'm sure is what he wants to talk about, once again."

With that Elena rushed to her room to get to the bath tub she had been fantasying about all afternoon. She walked straight into the bathroom and turned on the hot water and poured her favorite lavender scented bubble bath into the tub to get it ready. She stripped her clothes off and poured a glass of wine from her bathroom mini bar, she didn't let herself indulge in much but she let herself indulge in this one thing. She had made sure that she had a mini bar in everyone of her bathrooms since she had left Atlanta, Damon had taught her the perks it could have.

She climbed into the water being careful not to let her glass slip and loose any of her wine. It was her favorite, Cabernet Sauvignon. Yet another thing that Damon had taught her over their years together.

Yes he had taught her that there was nothing wrong with a nice glass of red wine with a hot bubble bath, while she had taught him to let loose with vodka, lemons and sugar..resulting in her favorite shot. She still didn't know what it was but something about the acid in the Lemmon and the chemicals in the sugar made the vodka taste like the best milk chocolate that you could ever have. Some of her favorite memories of the two of them involved those things. She had been able to see the young care free side of him when vodka was involved and she loved it.

But the most tender memories of him that she had often included a glass of Cabernet and a hot bubble bath. He would often join her in the bath and they would sit together and talk until their fingers became prunes. And afterwards he would carry her to his bed and make love to her passionately without even stopping to dry off. This often resulted in wet sheets but they didn't care.

If she let herself get caught up in the memories, as she often did, she could still feel the way his lips felt when he would slowly kiss up the curve of her neck and then gently bite down on her ear lobe. She could feel the way his hands felt when they were running up and down her legs. The way he would slowly move from her foot all the way up to roughly grasp her hip, often resulting in faint bruises the next day. She could feel the calluses that had formed from lifting weights on the palms of his hands. The man looked like sex walking and he never disappointed her when it came time to deliver. He was the most amazing lover she had ever had. He was gentle and loving but could also be rough and passionate when it was necessary.

She had never tried to date anyone after Damon, she had meant what she said in her letter. Her heart would be with him forever, she couldn't give away something she didn't have therefore it had never felt right to even try. Of course Caroline had tried to get her to go on dates but she had never given in to her. There was no point in dating when she knew she wouldn't love another man. To say that the past three years had been lonely would be an understatement. To love a man who hated her and refused to speak to her was devastating but she understood why he felt the way he did.

Of course she hoped by being here she would be able to slowly regain his trust and possibly his friendship. She didn't have any hope for ever being in a relationship with him again but she hoped for friendship at least. She didn't miss the look in his eyes when they had met up, it was the same look he had when she had refused his proposal. That look had caused her years of pain and guilt. That look made her question every reason she had for coming back here.

Tears streamed down Elena's face mixing in with the water from the bath. Her wine was long gone and her skin was wrinkling, she had lost track of time. The memories of Damon had taken over again and made her lose track of time.

She was brought out of her trance by a pounding on the door.

"Elena get your ass dressed and get out here. You better be presentable because you have a visitor."

What the hell? Who could be here? No one knew where their condo was but her and Caroline.

She got dressed in a hurry making sure she didn't have makeup running down her face due to her crying. But when she opened the door she saw the one person she never would have expected to see.


	4. Chapter 4

"Andy, um hi?"

"Elena."

"What can I do for you Andy?" Elena moved to sit on the leather couch across from Andy.

"Well how about you explain to me what you are doing here?" "Not that I have to explain myself to you at all, but I've decided to return to the show and the producers agree that it was a good idea.""don't give me that lame bullshit excuse about wanting to be back on the damn show Elena. Why are you really here? Are you here for Damon? Because if you are just move on now because that's not going to happen!""You know I am so fucking sick and tired of everyone telling me what I need to do. I am not some child that can be told what I can and cannot do! I am a grown woman. But just so you are aware I am actually here for the show. I decided I was sick and tired of running away from the things that I want to do and what is important to me. news flash, but I am an actress and acting is what I love to do. and It just so happens that I do love Holland's Secrets! But just so we are clear if I were truly here for Damon how the fuck would you stop me Andy?"

"I knew it! You are here for him! Well let me just tell you Elena. I got rid of you once and I can do it again! You wanna know how I'm going to stop you? Think back to that conversation we had three years ago before you and Damon went to that lake house. Remember what I told you then? It still applies. If you want what's best for Damon then you need to back the hell off! You want to be on the show? That's fine. But you won't be anything more than a coworker to Damon and you best believe I will make sure that not even your characters are lovers." With that Andy grabbed her purse and stormed out of the condo.

"What the hell is she talking about Elena? What conversation?" Elena had forgotten that Caroline was even there during her spat with Andy. She hadn't ever told her the real reason that she had told Damon no all those years ago, well she didn't have a choice now. And her best friend wasn't going to be happy.

"Well? I'm waiting Elena and you best believe I'll know if you're lying!"

"Give me a minute to process Caroline. I'll tell you everything but just give me a minute" Elena moved towards the kitchen to grab a few glasses and the bottle of bourbon from the cabinet.

"Shit this is going to be bad isn't it?" Caroline said under her breath as she saw what Elena was bringing into the living room. She had only seen Elena drink bourbon 2 other times in her life. When her parents had died in high school and when she had left Atlanta 3 years ago.

"You could say that." Elena said pouring them both a glass of the liquor.

"What the hell happened three years ago sweetie?" Caroline asked as she moved to sit next to Elena

"Do you remember that audition I had in New York with Atticus Shane? The one I had to go to alone?""Of course. It was for the movie about the med students who played with death.""Well Damon had suggested that Andy go along with me since I wasn't used to being in the city alone. She agreed, telling him that it would be a nice time for her and I to get to know each other better. As you know we were never really best friends, she didn't like me because I was with Damon and I didn't really like her because I always knew she had a thing for him. Well lets just say that she used this time to show me just why I would never be enough for Damon. She made me realize that the age difference that he always said was nothing was actually a big deal to him. She showed me several emails where he had to decline party invites, meaning that he had made his business relationships suffer because of me. She also showed me where he had even declined jobs because of me. Did you know that he was supposed to play Christian Grey in the Fifty Shades series? Yeah he turned it down because he knew that I was to young and immature to be able to handle him in that kind of movie, not to mention the spotlight that would come with it. She told me that he only settled with me because I was close to home since I was working on the same t.v show as he was and she made me believe it all. I was never good enough for Damon, I was just a little girl trying to be an actress using him to get the spotlight."

It took a few minutes for Caroline to react but once she did Elena knew there was no stopping her.

"THAT BITCH! Elena, why didn't you come to me and tell me this stuff like, um I don't know three years ago? I could have helped you! I could have convinced you that she was wrong! That no matter what she had shown you, Damon wanted to be with you! He loved you more than anything and he would have given you an explanation for those things, but I'm sure that he never did any of that because of you. He probably did it all FOR you!"

"Oh you mean like he gave me the time to explain why I didn't jump at the proposal? Or to try and understand my explanation?"

"Elena he would have. I promise."

"You're wrong. He wouldn't have understood me then and he won't now. It doesn't matter I'm not here for him. I'm here for the show. I just need to find a way to convince Valerie that our characters don't belong together."

"No Elena. You are not going to let that bitch control your life anymore than you already have! This is what we are going to do. You are going to go to work and you are going to go with the script Valerie has already written, which I got today by the way. And you are going to give me time to talk to Damon and work this out."

"No Care! No Damon. He doesn't need to be involved in any of this. Who do you think he is going to believe? His girlfriend or his ex girlfriend who ripped his heart out and her best friend?"

"You forget that Damon and I were friends at one point too Elena. Let me do this. If it doesn't work out then we can come up with a new game plan but I need to do this for you. I won't see you in pain again because of her." And with that Caroline headed straight out of the door leaving Elena to wonder what the hell her best friend was going to do.

Damon still didn't understand how he was feeling after 2 days of being back in Atlanta. He had come home and immediately tried to get in contact with Elena, but Caroline was the ever on guard protector that she always had been. She didn't trust his motives for wanting to talk to Elena so she wasn't going to let him near her. He needed to figure out a way to fix this. Caroline and him had been friends at one point, he wouldn't say best friend but they were as close as he could get to anyone. He did have a reputation of being an asshole and Caroline was not one to put up with his mood swings, which he respected her for.

But none of that helped him now. For now he was stuck sitting alone in his office at his home drinking bourbon alone once again. Letting his thoughts wonder back to that day 4 years ago when he had walked out of the cabin telling himself he would give himself the weekend to cool off and then talk to Elena on Monday about how they would work things out. Now he wondered what would have been different if he had just stayed. Would she have taken a shower or would they have been making love? Would she have had the miscarriage anyways? Or would they be celebrating their child turning 4 this year? Would it have been a little boy with his complexion but with her hair? Or would it have been a little girl with her complexion but his eyes?

He knows that this isn't healthy thinking and that nothing he does now can change the past and it still doesn't excuse her for leaving him or for denying his proposal. However, he can't help but to think that if he had only stayed that day that they would have faced everything together and that they would still be together now.

He is startled from his thoughts by his phone ringing. Its a number he doesn't know but he answers anyways in hope that it will be Elena.

"Hello?" "Damon? Damon Salvatore?" "Yes, who is this?" "Jeremy. Jeremy Gilbert." "Wow. Its been awhile man. What are you doing calling me? Does your sister know you are calling me?" "She doesn't but Caroline called me and told me a little bit about what has happened over the past week and I thought I should give you a call and let you know just what will happened if my sister comes back to Mystic Falls in the same state that she did four years ago.""Well thanks for the call after all this time, but I assure you that you don't have anything to worry about from me. Your sister and I both have made it obvious to each other that our future does not include our personal lives, it will be strictly professional with us while she is here." "Somehow I doubt that. Caroline tells me that you have been calling her almost on repeat the past few days to try and talk to my sister and you have made it clear that it has nothing to do with work. So there's your first lie. Don't try it again. Tell me what you want to talk to my sister about Damon." "Not that it is any of your business little Gilbert, but I need to talk to her about a letter that she wrote me a few years ago. I hadn't read it until recently so I didn't know some of the details that led up to her leaving and I would like to speak to her about them now. But I can assure you that I have no plans of being with your sister again. Our history is far too complicated for that." "Thank you for finally being honest with me. Good bye Damon."

Damon pulled his phone from his ear, staring at it in shock. Did little Gilbert just force him to spill his guts and then hang up on him? What the hell was that about? There was no way that Jeremy had come up with that plan on his own. No that had Caroline Forbes written all over it. He was going to get to the bottom of this and he was finally going to talk to Elena and get some damn answers. He was done waiting around for her to come to him. He had done it long enough.

"So he finally read the letter?""I guess so. He said that it had given him some insight into why Elena had left him and now he needed to talk to her about it.""Well I guess he's going to be waiting on that one for awhile. She doesn't talk to anyone about the miscarriage. It was hard as hell for her to even write the letter to him in the first place."" Did she know that he had never read it? Maybe that's why she doesn't talk about it with anyone. Maybe she thinks he has known all this time and just never cared to talk to her about it.""That could possibly be it. I know in the beginning when she would talk about it she blamed herself for losing the baby, saying that she let herself get to stressed out and that's what caused it. So I'm sure its not to far off to assume that she thinks that he knows and blames her for losing the baby and that its the reason why he hasn't ever reached out to her in all these years. Hell the reason why he avoided her like the plague is more like it.""Well you need to find out. And if that's what it is Caroline then you need to get her to talk to Damon and work some of this shit out.""I know Jeremy, believe me I know. I will work on it, I swear I will.""Okay. Call me next week with an update. If I don't hear from you I will be coming to Atlanta." "Okay Jeremy I will."

Caroline sat her phone down on the table next to her while reclining further into the sofa. What was she going to do? She knew there was no way in hell Elena was going to voluntarily talk to Damon about the miscarriage. Hell as far as Elena was concerned her and Damon had nothing to talk about outside of work and the show. She needed to come up with some sort of plan to get the two of them alone, so that Elena had no other option than to talk to Damon.

They needed to work their crap out. Everyone knew it. They both had said they didn't need to talk about the past in order to move forward with the show and filming, but they did. Their personal problems were going to effect their acting and even though they didn't want to admit it but they both knew it was true. She had promised Elena she wouldn't get involved but there was no other option for her at this point, was there?

She grabbed her phone and dialed the only person she knew of who could help. Even though she knew it wouldn't be easy to get them to agree.

"Hello? Who is this?"

"Bonnie, its Caroline. Don't hang up! Just listen to me." "You've got five minutes. No more. Start talking."

"Okay. As much as I know you don't want to help me I need your help. I need to get Damon and Elena both to the same place so that they can talk things through before filming starts." "Why the hell would I help you and by proxy help Elena? Especially if it has anything to do with getting Elena anywhere close to Damon?"

"Because its what Damon wants. He's been calling me to try and get me to get Elena to talk to him. But after their last encounter Elena doesn't want anything to do with talking to him. She tried and he shot her down, so she doesn't feel like he is going to do anything other than talk her out of being on the show." "Well yeah that's what he should be doing. She doesn't deserve to be on the show any longer and she doesn't deserve to be apart of his life either."

"Look I know you have your own personal opinions on the matters of Damon and Elena's relationship, but this is something that Damon wants and something that they need to do in order to be able to work together. Them working together effects all of our lives, so if you could just put aside your own feelings to help me with this that would be great." Caroline said getting a little short with Bonnie. She knew that Elena had not only hurt Damon when she left, but she had hurt Bonnie as well and that sucked for both of them. However, right now all Caroline cared about was making sure that things went smoothly on set between everyone.

"Whatever. If Damon is on board with talking to Elena why do you need my help?" "Because Elena is not on board and she is not going to agree to meet with him. But I am sure that I could get her to agree to meet with you." "With me? Why would that be okay?" "Because she still values your friendship. Believe it or not"

"Fine. Tell her to meet me at the studio tomorrow at 3 and I'll make sure Damon is there too. But that does not mean I am willing to talk to her. This is for Damon plain and simple."

"Thank you! I totally understand. But thank you!" Caroline was finally able to relax. Hopefully by this time tomorrow at least one of the relationships would be salvaged. Maybe even two. If she knew Damon, there is no way he would let Bonnie skip out on talking to Elena.


End file.
